Friday, April 15, 2011


Well, it's Friday and Rebecca is meeting G for lunch. I can already hear the collective "gasp", but she's meeting him to break things off. Perhaps "cool" things off is a better word, since nothing technically happened.

Things are very good between her and I.  On the way in, we had a short discussion about her meeting him. I told her I didn't want to put words in her mouth, but I said my only worry was that he might view this like she's trapped in her marriage and that they're "star-crossed" lovers, and continue pining over her. She said, this is definitely not the case, as this was just a game to her, and she's quite certain it was to him as well.

She mentioned it was like her college days when she would play this game and string several men along. I told her the difference was I never wanted to be a mere player in the game. I wanted to make the rules, I wanted to be on her team.

I predicted that he's not going to give up that easily. I told her I could see him attempting to engage my firm to do some work for him, just to have some connection. She laughed and said that she thinks I would like him. I answered a bit too quick by saying I doubt it. Maybe I would have liked him in person.

That lack of communication is really where my issues lie. I believe now that if her and I had been meeting him together, this all may have been different but I shied away from the whole MFM thing for several reasons. First of all, I thought it would have been too weird for her, and I wanted her to feel comfortable exploring this side of herself. Secondly, there was the whole gay angle. I thought if she able to do this without me, we would avoid the whole straight man/ straight man discomfort. She always says I think too much about things.

In hindsight(again) I think I really needed to be with her so we could do this as a couple, and maintain  and build our intimacy instead of giving it away to someone else.

We're heading on a family vacation to Mexico soon, so we can take it easy and just be together. I don't think we'll have regular internet access, which may be for the best, so I won't be updating for awhile.

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