Friday, July 30, 2010

Writing for an Audience.

Yesterday I added my wife as my first and only permitted reader. (Welcome Beautiful, it's an exclusive club.) I think I had always planned to do this, so I sent the invite and held my breath. She didn't have a chance to read any of it until last night after the kids were in bed. I had to run to the store and pick up some milk, so I stopped to fill up with gas as well, in order to giver her some time.

When I arrived home, I wasn't sure what to expect. It's a little unnerving to lay your fantasy life out there, even when it's to your wife of 13 years. Fortunately, she wasn't packing her bags when I got home. To the contrary, when we made our way into bed, I found out quickly that she was quite wet. I slid easily inside her and slowly pumped her. We made love, and she became increasingly wet as I asked her what parts she had read.

I had thought I could get her to start reading the blog from the beginning, but I think she read the most recent post first, since it is the first thing to come up. This just happened to include "Why the Hotwife Fantasy?", among others. When I discovered the material she covered, I took the opportunity to confess my fantasy as I thrust deep inside her. I said something to the effect of how I would like to kiss her as another man was pumping her. Even as a fantasy, it may take her some time for her mind to start exploring. Even so, as I came deep inside her amazingly wet pussy, she shuddered to a beautiful orgasm. I stayed inside of her while we had the usual post coital discussion. As we talked though, the back of my mind started wandering, and my cock became hard inside of her. I began pumping her again, this time amid the intoxicating feel and scent of our mixed juices. You would think that having just come, I would be able to control my pace and timing, but no. I quickly erupted in her, filling her for the second time. Afterwards, we slept.

I have been thinking about how having my one reader could influence what I write. Initially, I thought I would temper my writing a bit in order to not scare her off. Now that I have thought about it, I have realized that this blog is irrelevant if I start to edit myself. The one person who I can trust completely is my only reader. I have also drawn the conclusion that this blog has now transformed from a record of my thoughts and fantasies to a way of communicating these things to my wife. As such, I am going to continue "laying it on the line".

p.s. I love my only reader...

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Top Six Fantasies

I read an article on married couples and their bedroom fantasies the other day. The trouble always with fantasies is how to best communicate them to each other without freaking your spouse out. An idea the author discussed was to go our for dinner in a secluded place. During the meal, the couple would list to each other on individual pieces of paper their top five sexual fantasies. They would then place them into three piles; "Sure thing", "Maybe", and "Not on Your Life".

My mind has been wandering since then on what my fantasies would be. Here's what I have thus far, in no particular order.

1. A couples massage where we're massaged while we're making love: This would require a male and female massage couple to carry on our professional massage as if it was business as usual. We would make love while they massaged our bodies. Afterward, they would massage us until we fell asleep in each other's arms.

2. A four handed massage for my wife: We hire a male masseuse to be my third and fourth hands. I would blindfold my wife so she could relax, and so she could forget about whose hands were whose. This fantasy I have sometimes progresses into my making love to my wife while she's being massaged by our "friend". In an ideal world, she would allow him to massage her breasts and ass while I slowly pump her. It would be easy for this fantasy to progress into her having sex with him too, but I think it's much sexier if she only gets turned on by him as I do the "fun part".

3. The Soft Swing: I have often thought about us having sex in public or while in the presence of other couples. There wouldn't be any contact between individual couples. While in Mexico, she said that she would like to go to an adults only resort next time. We talked about walking around nude, and having sex in public as a group of people watched.

4. Threesome MMF: As I've mentioned before, I am all about pleasuring her. I have no deep interest in a FFM threesome. I like to see her satisfied, and I love to see her facial expressions as she goes through her orgasm. In fact, I would love to have video of her face only as she comes hard. I could probably be persuaded to move this fantasy closer to reality if she felt comfortable with someone else as our third.

5. The Hotwife Fantasy: This one has several variations. (Number two being one of them.) The basic hotwife situation is a wife fooling around with other men with her husbands consent and approval. Now this is something that drives me crazy when I think about it, I'm relatively certain that I'm not ready for her to follow through with acting out the fantasy (yet). What I would really like to have happen, is for her to pretend that it's happened and for her to "tell" me about it. Other variations would have us actually going out and me watching her from across a crowded room as she is hit on by other men. She could even steal a dance or two. The night would end with us at home making love, recounting her evening of being hit on.

6. Sexy Photo Shoot/Porn Shoot: We would hire a boudoir photographer, man or woman, to take sex shots of us and possibly video us as we make love. It may even take a couple of camera people to get all the right shots.

I may have to share this with her to get a reacton and see what pile she puts each one into.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010


George (a.k.a. my wife's menstrual cycle) arrived yesterday, right on schedule. A few months ago, as an experiment, I set a calendar alarm on my iphone the day her period arrived and set it to repeat every 28 days. I did it more to chart when she was the hottest, so I could time my more adventurous advances properly (during ovulation). Yes, I sometimes amaze myself with the effort I'll go through when it comes to hot sex with my wife. As for her period, the last three months she was right on time once, off by day once and off by more than a week according to my phone. When she's late, I don't stress, since I was "snipped" some time ago. Regarding my "study", she's all over the map. In fact, she had one of her most intense orgasm in recent memory the night before george arrived.

During her period, I have found her sex drive to be consistent with other times of the month. I kind of enjoy the week she's "off limits" because it makes us be creative when it comes to our sex life. We have tried several alternatives to straight intercourse. She's a sucker for a massage, and once or twice many years ago, we even had anal sex. I remember one time, after slowly working my way in, I massaged her clit while I slowly pumped her from behind. Her orgasm was magnificent. The feeling of her ass spasming around my cock is beyond description.

This time around however, I stuck to a "basic" massage, which she always loves. As I massaged her back I thought out loud about how it might feel for her to have a "four handed" massage. We discussed it as I poured the oil on her. I explained it would be easy for myself and another to mirror each other as we massaged her body. I have to confess, this fantasy is as much for me as her, and I couldn't help but get hard as I worked my way down her back, ass and legs.

I told her to imagine that our other masseuse was doing everything I did. Come to think about it, I did say "masseuse", so she may have assumed it would be a female doing the massaging. I was always thinking the other would be a male.(for her pleasure) I worked down her legs, and when I got to her feet, I nibbled and sucked on her toes. When I went to do her ass, I asked her if she would let both of us work her ass. She said she only wanted my touch there. I said she would just have to relax and let herself enjoy four hands on her buttocks. She loves having her ass massaged, and once she was relaxed, I asked her if she would let me remove her panties. She said that she would like them taken off, as I have "taught" her to have her massages in the nude. I was able to lower her panties to completely expose her glutes, leaving her panties at the junction of her ass and legs

I finished giving her wonderful ass the attention it deserved, then asked her to roll over. She rolled onto her back, and I applied plenty of oil on her chest. Her nipples stiffened as I massaged each breast. I(we) worked our way down her belly, skipping her pelvic region, choosing instead to work the front of her thighs. I (We) worked back up her legs and spent some enjoyable time on her pubic mound. I used one hand to spread her labia and dripped oil with the other directly onto her exposed clitoris.

Having been recently waxed, she was still nice and trim "down there", so in the dim light of our bedroom , I was able to make out the upper portion of her mound as well as her lovely clit. I spent another five or ten minutes massage around her lips and some more time on her clitoris. As a man, I tend to have a bit of a heavy touch when it comes to these areas, so I had to control myself not to be too heavy handed.

My wife enjoys having her clit stroked, but her real intense orgasms come from penetration (which wasn't to be in this early stages of "george"), so I resigned myself to the fact that I wouldn't be able to get her to climax. Instead, sensing she had reached the highest point possible this time around, I asked her if she would mind if I stroked myself, as this had certainly been driving me crazy with lust.

In the past, she has always enjoyed when I masturbate, and this was no different. I grabbed some lubricant from our bedside table, and laid beside her on my back. As I stroked myself, she kissed me and played with my chest and nipples (which, for some reason, I love). Now, being a seasoned veteran when it comes to pleasuring myself, I brought myself to the brink of orgasm and backed off a couple of times. (I think the term is "edging") Whenever I do this on my own, my pre-cum starts leaking. My wife enjoys this, although she prefers when I leak inside her.

As I "edged" the third time, I told her I need to feel her against me. I climbed on top of her and pulled her panties down, exposing her oiled up labia and clit. We kissed, and as our tongues explored each others' mouths, my wet, pre-cum covered cockhead explored the folds of her pussy. It was as if I was painting her. I would start the head of my cock at the lower portion of her lips, and slowly glide it up and over her clit, until the sensitive underside of my shaft would make contact with her sensitive button. The thought of my pre-cum being spread all over her spread lips and clit was almost too much for me to stand, and I had to slow down in order to not lose control.

Although I said earlier that my wife orgasms the readiest through penetration, I could sense she was also approaching her peak as she ground her pussy against my cock. Now, one thing most men will be able to relate to is the ability to control an orgasm is much more difficult when you have a hot body against you. If you allow yourself to get too close to the edge, a seemingly small movement by your partner can push you over the edge. This is what happened to me. Just the registration of the thought that my hot wife was getting closer to coming coupled with the light flutter of her outer lips on my shaft put me over the edge. I came in several hot spurts, drenching her pussy in my come. I hope she wasn't too disappointed in my performance.

Usually, after we make love she goes to the bathroom to pee in order to reduce the chance of a bladder infection, which is completely understandable. This time, however, she simply pulled up her panties, leaving herself covered all night in my semen. I've revisited that thought several times in the last 24 hours, and it gets me hard just thinking about it.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Why the HW Fantasy?

It's strange, but the HW fantasy is still haunting me, even though I doubt I could ever go through with it. I have been doing some "research" on the subject and came across an interesting article that looks at the phenomenon quite subjectively. .

In it, the author explores the the various reasons why men and women would want this lifestyle. As a side note, I really dislike the word "lifestyle". It implies (to me) the notion that as a couple, we're the same as everyone else, a kind of "club" when really, we're a couple first.

Under his possible reasons a man may want the HW experience for his wife, he lists the following:

Unconditional love:
I love my wife more than anything else in the world. She means the world to me, and I love to see her happy.( and satisfied) When we make love, my favourite part is seeing her face when she comes. When she doesn't orgasm, I feel like I've missed the most important piece of my satisfaction. This happens when she takes me to the edge, and in her desire to feel me pulse inside her, she'll push me over. I prefer to control myself and feel her go over first, and then let myself join her.

Reliving past sex:
She doesn't have much of a past. I was her second, her first being boyfriend with according to her, a tiny penis. On the other hand, I have "sewn" my oats. I have had around 8 to 10 partners over the course of my 38 years. Of those, 4 or 5 have been one night stands. Perhaps it's my knowledge of the lust involved in a one-nighter that makes me believe she's missed something there. The thought of her experiencing that lust, while knowing at the same she has husband who will love her forever afterward is something that not many people have the chance to experience. It's very much "have your cake and eat it too" situation. Men and women all through the ages have had affairs to experience this "lust". Certainly afterwards they must experience intense guilt at least equal to the level of pleasure they enjoyed earlier. I think the knowledge that I will love her before, during and after the experience would go a long way to tempering her feelings of guilt.

New sex and Pure lust sex
This is where my motivation comes into the picture a bit. Our sex life, by any outside standard is great. My wife has a great sex drive and we probably average 2 to 3 times a week. Every month, we have 1 or 2 sessions of mind-blowing sex.( I have a theory that this coincides with her ovulating, but I haven't tested it as of yet). It's my hope that by exploring the HW fantasy, we would be able to increase her pleasure and number of intense quality sessions with each other. The other thing that comes to mind which I have mentioned in previous posts, is her appreciation for the stories I tell to her as we make love. She comes quite easily when she's aided by the sound of my voice. She says she just likes my voice, but I know the content of the story always has something to do with it.

Competition with other males
I touched on this previously in a Mexico post. I think that the knowledge we both would have that she's appreciated by other males serves to increase her self confidence and re-light the edge I had before we were married.

Cum fantasy
Not really applicable I think to either of us, although I wouldn't have a problem going down on her if it was only "me" down there.

Sexual Control
Typically, I'm the one driving the love making, as well as the spoken word in our bed. She certainly reacts well, and enjoys what I have to say. I guess this would make me the one "in control". I totally believe that just the act of her fantasizing aloud with me about another man, or an mmf situation would take us to a new level and liberate her a little, allowing her to be comfortable with fantasizing.

Husband humiliation/Wife humiliation
Again, not really for me, or her I would bet. It's just too foreign to our love.

The article did help to identify the areas where find the allure of the HW fantasy. Someday I might share it with my wife for her to read....

Monday, July 12, 2010

Back From Mexico

We got back from our trip to the Mayan Riviera last Saturday night. We both thoroughly enjoyed it. We occasionally had some guilt about leaving the kids behind, but whenever we saw families where the parents looked beat down, we quickly got over it. The kids had a great time with my parents anyway, since they're always spoiled with them.

It's been a sun and sex filled week, with my lovely wife surprising me a couple of times during the week. My highlight of the trip for me was a "date" night where we were going out for an "a la carte" dinner. The plan was to go separately and meet for drinks in the main lounge. I wanted the excitement of "picking her up", as an unknown suitor.

I left our hotel room first, since I didn't want to see what she would be wearing. I went to a second lounge not far from the first and had a couple of drinks. We were to meet at 6:45pm, but I waited until a little after 7:00 before I went over to where we said we'd meet.

I took the long way through the main buffet, which was up on the second level, arriving at at balcony overlooking the main lounge where we were to meet. As I looked down, I saw my beautiful wife sitting on a stool at a high bar table in her "vegas" dress. She was lovely. To my surprise, a man was standing at her table, engaged in conversation with her. I'm not sure how to describe my thoughts at the moment, but I suffice to say, my stomach did a quick flip-flop.

I decided to watch for awhile and see what was up. She had her back to me, so I was safe just standing on the balcony, overlooking the bar area. They talked for awhile and he remained at her table. I knew my wife wouldn't be pushing the situation, since she's strictly a one-man woman, but I watched anyway. Eventually, I made my way down the stairs to the bar to get a drink and join them. When I approached them, she introduced me to "hector". Well, as soon as Hector spoke, I realized he was very gay. In an instant, my fantasy of my wife flirting with another man was gone. The stomach flip-flops stopped and we sat down to talk about the upcoming show. It turned out Hector is a dancer in the evenings entertainment, and they typically mingle with the crowd before the show to promote it.

For a few moments, though, I was able to experience the belief (along with the related emotions) that my wife was being hit on by another man. There is something primal that awakes within when your woman is having a drink with another man. It takes me back to my younger days when I was still chasing my wife. The uncertainty of not knowing if you were going to get lucky, or whether she would leave with you or another guy. It made me feel young again.

Friday, July 2, 2010

One Sleep to Go

As a kid I always counted the sleeps until a big event like Christmas, summer holidays, etc. Now that I'm all grown up with kids of my own, I find we count sleeps for them as well. This week has gone relatively quickly, although I have been counting sleeps until we leave for Mexico. One more to go....

As I sit here, my sexy wife has just driven off to drop off the kids with Grandma and Grandpa. Earlier this afternoon, I had dropped her off for her waxing appointment and picked her up afterward freshly done. I have to say, the combination of the Mexico trip and the Brazilian wax could be too much excitement even for me. I'm feeling kind of like our kids must feel the night before Christmas, my brain buzzing with excitement to the point I have a hard time focussing on other tasks.

On an (even more) sexual note, I have always enjoyed eating my wife's pussy. The only downside in the past has been the subsequent stray hair in my throat. Without that as a deterrent, I may spend this entire trip with my head between her legs. I have visions of some type of Monty Python skit; a woman is walking into a hotel to check in and she needs to ask her husband something at the front desk, so she lifts up her dress to reveal his head between her thighs.... he tells her what she needs to know and then she drops the dress back down and continues the conversation with the bellboy. When he gives her a strange look, she simply replies "brazilian". Maybe this is more Benny Hill than Monty Python...