Today

Any sad thoughts of Rebecca and G sneaking around behind my back have more less disappeared. Is it really that easy? I've seen how much she needs me over the last couple of weeks, and honestly, she has cried way too much about this. I mean it was my prodding that allowed her to go there, and it was her conservative nature that kept her from telling me.

I did tell her last night that I understand that going "cold turkey" would be difficult, due to their friendship. She replied that it wasn't even close if the choice was between a friendship and us.

It's too bad it has come to that really. I mean, we were so close to the perfect situation. The only thing missing was disclosure. I understand that once it happened, it would be hard for her to bring it up, but I did try to give her every chance.

Even this soon after the pain, I have the fleeting thought that we/she could have had it all.. if. If my aunt had nuts.

Unfortunately, with G the opportunity has passed. I'm not sure even I could go there now. Having said that, Sweets if you're reading this, I would still insist on honesty if you ever felt you needed to go there.

Maybe one day she'll find a new G and we can start this off on the right foot. She'll read this and say that will never happen, but that's the sort of denial that got us in trouble to begin with. We've determined that even a perfect wife can have needs outside a perfect marriage.

She has told me that I should stop with the hotwife talk, but I have to be honest, it's hard to do. Especially knowing we've come this close but I'll do my best in that regard. I only hope that if given the choice in the future between cheating wife and hotwife, she'll choose the latter.