Not Your Typical Husband

As my wife will attest to, I tend to think a lot. She jokes that she is shallow in comparison, but I don't think she gives herself enough credit in this respect.

Sex between us has been often and pretty intense between us over the last few weeks. At times it's lovemaking, and other times it's hard sex. I have to admit, that every time I have been inside her, thoughts of them cross my mind. I wonder the usual things, like how I compare, how hard she came, etc.

When my thoughts turn to the two of them, it goes one of two ways for me. I either get turned on by the idea that she gave her body to him, or I go in the opposite direction and start to get distracted.

Recently, my thoughts have been about why I feel like I do at times. I came to the conclusion that it bothers me that they had something special. Rebecca has reassured me time and time again, ( and I believe her) that it was just a fun thing for her. She jokes about how she is able to turn off the feelings with him.

Even so, what made (and makes) it special in my eyes is the fact that she hid it. I realize that was a mistake she made, and it can't be undone. Unfortunately, it will remain special in my mind because she did it, hid it, and ended it, granting G this special status as the only man who was able to get her to do this.

I woke up this morning, went to the washroom and came back to her warm, naked sleeping body. We keep our bedroom quite chilly, so I spooned up to her and sapped some of her heat. She smells great after a night's sleep. I'm not sure why.

That's when the thought crossed my mind that the only way to remove the significance of her affair with G would be for her to have another one with someone else. I know she'll shit when she reads this, saying there's no way she will go through this again.

Of course I would argue that we didn't go about it right with G. I'm not saying she should go out and become a slut overnight, because that's not who she is and that's not the woman I love. What I am saying is she could keep her eyes and ears open for another "friend", letting it develop if she chooses, but do it right by keeping our communication open. I can't believe I'm even typing this. Even if she never slept with someone else, the simple fact that she was moving on from G would take the edge off the significance of their affair.

I know her response will be to say she has no desire for anyone else. That she only wants me. Well, that answer would elevate G to a level that will continue to make me uncomfortable for a long time. Regardless, I'll deal with it. She's worth it.