Saturday, October 29, 2011

More thoughts on things..

"A" is asking some good questions, and it has provoked me to take stock of what my thoughts are now. Judging from my earlier insecure posts (which I cringe when I read now), I think I have come a long way.

I can imagine that our dynamic might look strange and a little one sided to someone viewing it from the outside.

Early on, I was pretty freaked out about the loss of control/ etc, but there are a few things that I have grown to realize and be comfortable with.

First of all, Rebecca loves me beyond anything or anyone else. It took me some time to really understand that. This gives me the confidence in her making decisions about who she sees and when, etc. She tells me when they have lunch, email etc, I just don't get every little detail like I want immediately after the fact.

She rations the tidbits, and she's becoming quite good at knowing what turns me on. It's all still on a flirting level, so it takes some reading into.

My personal feelings swing back and forth between feeling cuckolded to feeling like I'm the one doing the cuckolding. She meets him for lunch and he gets her for an hour to chat, and when she comes home, I take her and show her she's mine.

Of course, the balance could shift if she ever fell in love, but I would rather go into that situation having given her my unconditional love all along. I'm even certain that I could handle that with the same unconditional love for her.

There's a point I believe that there is really no choice, or maybe no need for either of us to choose. Like any other couple, she could leave me anytime if she chose to. There's just simply no need to do so. She has a husband and family who loves her more than anything in the world. She also has the freedom to explore her sexuality and feelings for others. How many other women can say that?

4 comments:

  1. Here I am again with my two cents... (feel free to tell me to buzz off).

    I agree with you about two things Rebecca does tell you about the WHEN of her interactions with the other men (but it doesn't sound like you know much of the what or content of the interaction) and it is also true that in any relationship either party could leave at any time.

    If you consider there to be a continuum with cuckolding on one end and HW on the other. It would appear to me that you are closer to you being a cuck rather than having a Hot Wife.

    Finally, I was wondering what Rebecca thinks of my observations?

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  2. I think if it is a sliding scale, it would appear to others that we've moved a little closer to the cuckolding side of things. She is quite uncomfortable moving forward with him physically, which might be a combination of a few things. 

    First, I can tell she's still uncomfortable with the notion that this turns me on.  Second, she's traditional in her values, so this open talk freaks her out a bit,   and third, in her words, she isn't a "homewrecker" (he's married.) I guess there is a fourth in that I really do satisfy her sexually. Not to brag, but I know her very well, and I use that knowledge to please her both sexually and emotionally.  I suppose it would be easier for her to sleep around if she wasn't satisfied at home. 

    As for G, the fact that she doesn't tell me everything about her correspondence with him I guess does make me a bit of a cuckold in a technical sense. I do have to admit, the idea that there is more going on than she tells me does push certain buttons for me, but I would  have to hear it from her. 

    Finding out (without her telling me) that she had a full blown affair going behind my back would be a huge betrayal. Strangely, it wouldn't be because of the sex or intimacy but because she would have kept the truth from me. 

    I would really enjoy her telling me about her exploits, if and when they happened, but to keep it a secret between her and him would simply be an affair. 

    I guess a similar thing could be said about an "emotional" affair, but as long as there aren't "I love you's" being exchanged, I'm fine with her enjoying the flirting and establishing her own boundaries.

    Currently, I know that there is very little going on between them that I should be concerned (or turned on) about. I have gently encouraged her to have more fun, but she keeps it quite clean. 

    I think she would enjoy flirting or going out with someone other than G, but that may take awhile to happen.

    As for Rebecca's take, she thinks I read too much into things. She feels a little strange that people are interested to the point of commenting on our relationship, although she does ask me if there have been any new comments.

    I also told her we just need to keep in mind they're all just opinions. We know the full context of things, as there is a lot between us that I don't write about. 

    Regardless, I appreciate the comments, particularly when they come from someone who has been through something similar. 

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  3. tim_on_y@yahoo.comNovember 5, 2011 at 6:00 AM

    Slider,
    I have just posted a comment to your post on 9/14. I agree with you that there is a minimal level of communication that needs to happen which normally covers the basics of her relationship, but may be you won't get all the details.

    Also, from my experiment, a steady relationship with one guy always leads to some level of emotional attachment, not necessairly love. You shouldn't be threatened by that. The guy friend usually becomes a good friend with benefit

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  4. Your last couple of sentences encapsulate, to me, what cuckolding is all about. Stable and loving husband and family life at home, and getting kinky and freaky cock on the side whenever I want. The best of both worlds. :)

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