She's Complicated... Or am I?

Rebecca has never been one to delve into the fantasy realm when it comes to our sex life. She's very much a straight shooter in that respect. Any direct fantasy talk from me when it has to do with her being with another man falls quickly onto deaf ears. 
So last night, I thought I would try a little twist. The fantasy I outlined to her was this. We would pretend we had each married our exes and that we were both unhappy( when it comes to our exes, this is not a stretch at all). I suggested we pretend that her and I "meet" and have a passionate reunion. Her response was that she would never cheat on her husband. WTF?? I AM her husband. 

I was left sitting in bed beside my wife, bewildered beyond belief. What I can gather from this insane response, is that her belief in the sanctity of marriage and her level of commitment transcends even true love.  On the surface this would seem like an admirable quality. Deeper down, however, I find it troubling. 
What keeps me with my wife is my undying love for her. I'm a bit of a romantic. I believe in true love, and I know I'm a lucky man to have found it. If for some reason, I woke up in a parallel dimension where I was married to someone else, I would get dressed and walk the entire earth if necessary to find my Rebecca. Apparently, if the same thing happened to her, she would check the paperwork, and if all was in order, she would snuggle back up to whomever happened to be on the marriage certificate.

Edit: We talked, and granted my fantasy request was weird. The irony was, I proposed it as a way for her to be able to feel comfortable having a fantasy,and still not feel like she's cheating on me. She said she's just not comfortable fantasizing about anyone else because she's happy with me. I guess I'm hoping that her comfort and happiness with me is what allows her to open up a little when it comes to our sex life. Baby steps...

Three Things

Rebecca and I somehow got on the topic of how to keep things hot when it comes to our sex life. We agreed that we would both come up with three ideas to keep the lust alive. I've touched on several in this blog, so my thoughts on the subject are well known. It will be interesting to see what she comes up with. She hit me with her first after work the other day. We went up to our room to change out of our work clothes while the kids stayed on the main floor, playing on the computer. As we were changing, I went to kiss her...you know, typical peck on the lips, something we do several times a day, often in passing. This time, however, she stopped me and kissed me long and deep.
Her tongue danced across my lips while she led me to our ensuite. She laid a towel on the edge of our tub since it's quite cold to the touch, pulled down my underwear and sat me down. If I wasn't already completely hard, I became so when I touched her between her legs. She was dripping wet. For all you husbands and boyfriends out there who aren't on top of your significant other's cycle, I strongly suggest you start keeping track. This is Rebecca's time of ovulation, and her body takes control of what it wants. She is constantly wet, and her wetness is absolutely delectable. It's really an amazing time to be her husband.
She sat me down on the tub surround, and lowered her wet, almost flowing pussy onto my waiting cock, straddling me. I was facing the mirror in our bathroom as she rode me, and I could see her juices coating my cock as she slid herself up and down my shaft.
I'm a very visual lover, and that was enough to quickly put me over the edge and I filled her (fertile) womb. We quickly finished getting changed and went back downstairs to the kids.
Her first attempt to change it up was successful, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I'll keep this blog updated when she reveals her other ideas...

Edit: I suggested a little role playing last night, and to say it fell flat would be a huge understatement... Strike one for me.

An Email from the Past

This past weekend, Rebecca received an email from a former boyfriend who is also now married (and living overseas) He was her "first", and while that idea bothered me when we first got back together, it's now a distant memory. He was emailing her about local headhunters in case he was in need of a job if he came back to the city.

She mentioned his email in the spirit of being up front, and to make sure I didn't interpret the contact the wrong way. I didn't. I know she's mine now, and a lot of water has gone under that bridge, just prior to it being burned (Two cliches in one reference!) I know she has no desire for him or any other man, so it's really a non-event as far as I'm concerned.

Except.... the day she mentioned his email, she did seem strangely aroused. George was visiting, and flowing extremely heavy, so actual sex was out of the question, but all day she kept bumping into me, hugging me and nibbling at my neck. Maybe it was her perception of my reaction to the email that got her aroused (a stretch to say even mild jealousy). Maybe she felt she needed to show me more affection to compensate for the email. Maybe the email dredged up some good memories for her. In fact, I recently found out much to my pleasant surprise, that I'm not the only man who has gone down on her. (She hasn't told me who the other(s) have been).

Suffice to say, I'm extremely happy and comfortable in our marriage. If an email from an old boyfriend shakes up her psychi enough to give her libido an unexpected boost, who am I to complain?

Face Porn

Things are looking up since our Sunday blip. I guess that's what happens when everyone is tired. A few decent nights sleep, and we're all feeling better. Rebecca forwarded an email to me today from her boudoir photographer's assistant. We had selected a couple of shots to be printed as 5x7's, which were included as part of the package. I chose the shower shot, and another that didn't make it to the blog. The reason it never made it on here is because it's a shot of Rebecca's face. She's wearing the red bra and panties, and staring at the camera with a very sexy look. She has her finger up by her mouth, spreading her lips much like she would if she was telling you to be quiet. Sometimes the sexiest things are the things you see everyday. When something is presented in a way that is slightly different than what you're used to and it's done only for you, the everyday can be sexier than than the explicit.
 
Last night when Rebecca and I were making love, and I watched her face as she had her orgasm. The sex last night was as "vanilla" we have been in a while, but being able to watch her face as she came was a treat. It's something I would like to video someday so I could enjoy it over and over again. It usually starts with a sporadic clenching of her face muscles, like she's bearing down. Gradually it transitions to a look of concentration, and finally to intense pleasure, almost pain. I wish I could share it, but she is adamant I keep it to myself. 
 

Warning: Downer Post... Shitty Sunday

Well, I was due for a bit of a shitty post, if for nothing else than to get some emotions off my chest. Yesterday was one of our less than stellar days. There were a few underlying factors, and we (our family) kind of limped through the day. I may have started things out poorly when I had made plans with Rebecca for after we out the kids to bed. I had "scheduled" another massage, this time it was to happen while she chatted online. The idea of her chatting to another man is a big turn-on for me, and not really for her, so I have to admit that I used the idea of a massage to bribe her into doing it again. After she agreed to it Friday night,I spent all day Saturday fantasizing about it. Unfortunately this time, we were both tired after a night out with the kids at the movies( Yogi Bear.. Don't go unless you have to). When we got home, we were going up to bed after the kids were asleep, and I discreetly asked if she wanted the laptop upstairs. She said no, and I took this as a "deals off". I shouldn't have let this get me down, as we were both tired, but it did, and I fell asleep in a bad mood.

I woke up in a better mood Sunday morning, but unfortunately maybe due to the bad vibes from the night before, Rebecca did not. She's not one to PMS, but occasionally, I can tell it gets her down. When she does let it get to her, she'll quickly and suddenly get fed up with things that need to be done around the house letting me know what has to be finished. The forecast for Sunday was a balmy -20 degrees, so we were all cooped up in at the house. I love our kids very much, but they can be a little incessant, especially when cooped up indoors. I can only imagine what it's like when she has "George" just around the corner, this Tuesday to be precise ( yes I know her schedule).

As a couple we tend to feed off each other's mood, so after she barked at the kids, I let it get to me and my patience ran thin as well. I was emotionally drained by the end of the day, and we were in bed by 9:30. I'm still feeling tired today.

I'm contemplating giving her some space on future potential PMS days. My thought is that if we're not together on those days, our impatience won't be amplified off of each other. I could take the kids out for the day, or even to my parents for the weekend if the timing worked. I don't want it to seem that this is some sort of punishment, but I have to say that I don't like the person I became, or felt I became yesterday. Our kids, although incessant with their needs are just kids.

In the Words of Kramer...

I'm out!
Details to follow, but it all started with a bottle of massage oil and Rebecca's sore legs...

There's a First Time for Everything....

Well, I did it. Let's just say that I was successful in my first attempt to hold off, even after Rebecca had "hers". We had a nice bath together while I read her a few excerpts from "Insatiable Wives", which she amicably chose to disagree with. I gave her a gentle leg massage until the water was cold and we got out and ready for bed. When I put my underwear on, she asked, "What's that?". That was my hint to get naked. We into bed and she climbed on top of me, asserting herself in her own sweet way. I dropped down while she sat "cowgirl" near my chin and I spent the next little while relishing her taste.

After awhile of listening to her moan as my tongue explored her, I decided she would need me inside her to reach her peak. Now I had been thinking about my "plan" to be unselfish, so I wasn't actually completely hard as I entered her. That didn't last, and I was fully aroused soon enough. At this point, it started to work against me and I knew she needed some encouragement to take her over the edge. Usually, my encouragement is talking to her, and this time was no different. Okay it was a little different. I needed to get her over the edge before I came, and often my words of encouragement work on me as well. This is usually because I have three dirty/nasty/hot thoughts which go through my mind for every one of the words I say to her.

This time, I told her she couldn't make me come before she did or I would have to do one of two things to take her over the edge after I filled her. She asked what they were and I told her about the first possibility. As she ground herself down onto my cock, I told her that if I came, she would have no choice, but to suck me back to life so I could finish the job. I described to her how she, my shy, conservative wife would have to take my soft, cum covered cock into her mouth and lick my cock clean. I told her she would be able to feel it getting hard in her mouth as she cleaned our combined juices off.

She made it to the part where I told her she would feel me hardening in her mouth and then she came, as she rode cowgirl on top of me. Fortunately, I was able to keep myself under control. When she laid on my chest, I didn't make any motions or attempt to finish off. She had read my previous post and asked if I really planned on following through, and I said I would like to give it a shot (or not, as the case may be). We've decided I'll wait until this weekend before I cave....

A New Approach

We men are selfish when it comes to sex. There I've said it. On the other hand, Rebecca is very unselfish. She was raised in a good Catholic home, having been told by her mother early in life that her duty as a wife is to give her husband sex whenever he wants it. Keep in mind she was never told that she should want sex for herself, only that she should submit to me whenever I ask. Now most men would certainly be very happy with this. I can count on one hand (and still have fingers left over) the number of times over our thirteen year marriage that she has turned me down.

In spite of her Catholic upbringing, she has developed a healthy sex drive, and she certainly enjoys sex, but I believe her traditional values have stunted her level of comfort in initiating "action". She was brought up to respond more than to initiate. Don't get me wrong, she does drop hints when she's feeling horny. I've learned to interpret these and act appropriately (most of the time). Other times when I haven't guessed right, her sense of duty kicks in and I'm led to believe I was right.

I on the other hand am bit of a polar opposite to my lovely wife. I grew up as a very horny teenager, then young man, and now I'm a (lower) middle aged horny man. I remember as an eighteen year old at college, going into the local corner store to purchase a copy of Penthouse letters. I would go home and take care of business. Along the way, I was exposed to all sorts of fetishes through the written word. I went through phases of what I liked and didn't like, all the while building my repertoire of stories to tell my future wife. Now of course there's the Internet, and no need to embarrass myself with the local merchants. My tastes changed along with my life, and my desires are focused around my wife and her pleasure.

My desire for her to embrace and pursue pleasure has led me to where we are today. I have never spared myself any sexual pleasure, and I want her to have the same thing. I have decided that in conjuction with my efforts to have her become more selfish, I should probably scale back my selfishness. Baby steps as they say. The first of which is to experience a sexual encounter with her where I don't reach my peak. Too many times I've forsaken her pleasure to quench my own. How many husbands can say they've satisfied their wife without peaking themselves? When I was eighteen, it would have been a foreign concept. Wish me luck... I'll keep you posted...