Friday, July 16, 2010

Why the HW Fantasy?

It's strange, but the HW fantasy is still haunting me, even though I doubt I could ever go through with it. I have been doing some "research" on the subject and came across an interesting article that looks at the phenomenon quite subjectively. .

In it, the author explores the the various reasons why men and women would want this lifestyle. As a side note, I really dislike the word "lifestyle". It implies (to me) the notion that as a couple, we're the same as everyone else, a kind of "club" when really, we're a couple first.

Under his possible reasons a man may want the HW experience for his wife, he lists the following:

Unconditional love:
I love my wife more than anything else in the world. She means the world to me, and I love to see her happy.( and satisfied) When we make love, my favourite part is seeing her face when she comes. When she doesn't orgasm, I feel like I've missed the most important piece of my satisfaction. This happens when she takes me to the edge, and in her desire to feel me pulse inside her, she'll push me over. I prefer to control myself and feel her go over first, and then let myself join her.

Reliving past sex:
She doesn't have much of a past. I was her second, her first being boyfriend with according to her, a tiny penis. On the other hand, I have "sewn" my oats. I have had around 8 to 10 partners over the course of my 38 years. Of those, 4 or 5 have been one night stands. Perhaps it's my knowledge of the lust involved in a one-nighter that makes me believe she's missed something there. The thought of her experiencing that lust, while knowing at the same she has husband who will love her forever afterward is something that not many people have the chance to experience. It's very much "have your cake and eat it too" situation. Men and women all through the ages have had affairs to experience this "lust". Certainly afterwards they must experience intense guilt at least equal to the level of pleasure they enjoyed earlier. I think the knowledge that I will love her before, during and after the experience would go a long way to tempering her feelings of guilt.

New sex and Pure lust sex
This is where my motivation comes into the picture a bit. Our sex life, by any outside standard is great. My wife has a great sex drive and we probably average 2 to 3 times a week. Every month, we have 1 or 2 sessions of mind-blowing sex.( I have a theory that this coincides with her ovulating, but I haven't tested it as of yet). It's my hope that by exploring the HW fantasy, we would be able to increase her pleasure and number of intense quality sessions with each other. The other thing that comes to mind which I have mentioned in previous posts, is her appreciation for the stories I tell to her as we make love. She comes quite easily when she's aided by the sound of my voice. She says she just likes my voice, but I know the content of the story always has something to do with it.

Competition with other males
I touched on this previously in a Mexico post. I think that the knowledge we both would have that she's appreciated by other males serves to increase her self confidence and re-light the edge I had before we were married.

Cum fantasy
Not really applicable I think to either of us, although I wouldn't have a problem going down on her if it was only "me" down there.

Sexual Control
Typically, I'm the one driving the love making, as well as the spoken word in our bed. She certainly reacts well, and enjoys what I have to say. I guess this would make me the one "in control". I totally believe that just the act of her fantasizing aloud with me about another man, or an mmf situation would take us to a new level and liberate her a little, allowing her to be comfortable with fantasizing.

Husband humiliation/Wife humiliation
Again, not really for me, or her I would bet. It's just too foreign to our love.

The article did help to identify the areas where find the allure of the HW fantasy. Someday I might share it with my wife for her to read....

1 comment:

  1. Just reading some older posts of yours... I think part of the fantasy also has a primal nature to it.

    As males, we compete to make as many babies as possible (primaly speaking). When another male cums in our mate's pussy we have a primal need to feverishly pump our own cum in there to make sure our seed has as much of a chance to get to that egg.

    I would imagine our hind brains wouldn't notice the difference if it actually happened or if it was just a fantasy; that same need would be there.

    And yeah the crazy sex is probably when she is ovulating - again primal. She wants to get a baby in there (primaly speaking).