Good Question..

Thank you for all your comments. As for why I read the emails, I think I read them in their entirety for  a couple of reasons. First of all,  I never got through all of them to begin with. It was pretty painful at first,  so I just couldn't do it.

But, I felt I needed to confront the content in the emails. Now that I have read them , and accepted the realizations I wrote about above, I do feel a lot better about this whole thing. There is even a part of me that is happy for her that she was able to experience the good things in their relationship.