Sorry for the lack of posts. The summer has been pretty busy. We spent some time on the coast with the kids, and had a pretty good family vacation. Rebecca and I really need to get away as a couple this winter, but it'll have to wait until the timing (and funds) permit.
Things have been very good between us, and I consider myself quite lucky to have her. She is all over me day to day. It's good to have come through what we did, and now be even stronger as a couple.
Honestly, I still think daily about her starting to see someone again. I can't explain why, but the thought is still there. I guess I'm still attracted to the honesty and trust that have to exist to have your wife dating. I've been keeping my thoughts from Rebecca for the most part, because I know that it's not at all on her radar, and I'm quite happy to have things remain as they are.
There are always little crossover things in day to day life that I believe are relevant to my school of thought. For instance, we were camping with married friends of ours last weekend when we got into a discussion around the fire about infidelity and marriages breaking up, etc. We all knew of couples breaking up over affairs. I shared a thought with the couple we were camping with, saying how I think the idea of leaving your husband for a lover was ridiculous, considering that a woman will find similar flaws with her lover once the shine has worn off.
Keep in mind, that this friend (as far as I know) has no knowledge of Rebecca's fling from last year. This is the friend I mentioned a few posts back who was licking her chops as she ran behind a well built black man on the running path.
I went on to say that it's understandable for couples to get caught up in everyday life and that a little fling might actually rejuvenate the marriage. Her friend was, or acted quite shocked. She said that I was referring to an open marriage. I said call it what you want, but it takes a certain level of honesty to admit to your partner that you get turned on by someone else.
There was some more discussion, but I did go on to say that I didn't want an open marriage for myself, as I was "way too tired" for that. I only was noting how odd it is that people leave their spouses to run off with their lovers, only to find the grass isn't greener, when they would have been way better off staying with their husbands and just trying the other field until they got tired of it.
Rebecca let me carry on with them, and I tried my best to not make her feel conspicuous during our discussion, although I think I wasn't completely successful. As for Rebecca's friend, her husband isn't exactly "stud" material, so maybe the HW approach would appeal to her. She had quite a high sex drive in college according to Rebecca, so it's hard to believe it just disappeared.
Time will tell.
I was very glad to see you posted today. Great Post.
ReplyDeleteGlad to have you back posting again. :)
ReplyDeleteWomen are very perceptive about the nuances of conversations like that, so I'm sure that two of the three people knew what you were talking about. Of course I agree with what you said, that's a different thing entirely.
Then again, I will readily admit that my girlfriend and I have discussed the fantasy of her moving out to be with a lover, as long as she keeps me completely informed, like girlfriends do.