What is Sexy?

I just finished having lunch with Rebecca. We had met to do some banking and afterwards we stopped at a restaurant near my office.

This was a rare occasion when we were able to talk without being interrupted by our kids, so of course both V and G came up. She told me her email on her phone isn't working, so she hadn't heard from G lately. V had texted her to ask why he hadn't seen her in the gym. ( they have been on different schedules).

At one point, she asked me in a flirty tone what I thought made a woman sexy. I had to think for a moment. It's not something I've thought about in great detail. I mean, you know it when you experience it, but you don't usually think about it.

After some thought, there were two key points for me. The first quality was confidence. The second was the ability to push boundaries, her own as well as her partner's.

Rebecca is one of the most confident women I have ever known, so much so that her confidence might inhibit her from pushing the second part of the equation. But the times when she has pushed her boundaries have been some of the most erotic times I have experienced.

I asked her on the drive back the same question. Her response was similar. She listed confidence, (even cockiness) as the first quality. She qualified it saying there was a fine line between cocky and arrogant. Arrogance was a turn off for her. She went on to list intelligence as key for her, and that it had to be seen in the eyes. "Brightness" might be a better term.

Of course for any person to be sexy, there needs to be a physical attraction. I would venture to say that a person doesn't need to be a bombshell to be attractive. Sexy is a state of mind, especially, I find, as we get older. It's beyond skin deep.