Tuesday Night

Rebecca left around eight to go for a drink with G. I put the kids to bed not much later. I had left my cell phone in the car, so I thought I'd try to see how well the "find my iPhone" app worked.

It found my cell, and presumably in our car downtown near one of Rebecca's favorite lounges. I sent her an email to tell her my phone was in the car, so she would have to email me vs. text if she wanted to get ahold of me. She usually texts to say when she is heading home when she is out.

After a couple of hours at around 10:00 pm, I fired up the app and noticed my cell had moved to in front of G's house. At that point, my heart was in my throat. I thought maybe she was dropping him off, so I checked every once in awhile to see if it had moved. It stayed at his place for around forty minutes.

A million ideas flashed through my head as I wondered what she might be up to. It's hard to explain how it affected me, but I can honestly say I didn't have any negative thoughts. I will say, that once I knew she was parked at his house, I easily obsessive about checking to see when she would leave. Every time I confirmed she was still there, my heart would skip a beat. That feeling is where my addiction lies.

At about 10:40, I finally saw that she was heading home. It seemed to be a strange amount of time. Obviously she had gone inside, but in a short time like that, not much would have happened.

When she arrived home, I was pretty wound up, in a good way, wanting to reassert myself with her. She said they had gone for a drink, ( he had four) and while she was at the lounge, her monthly visitor arrived.

She said she dropped him off, downplaying the night. I mentioned that I noticed she had been there for around forty minutes or so. She just said that it didn't seem that long, and that he gave her a tour of his house.

It was all very anticlimactic. She said he never tried anything, that "it's not like that". Still, I wonder though where those forty minutes went. She knows she doesn't need to hide anything, and I do my best to downplay my interest in the specifics.

For something as boring as it might be in reality, there are some excruciating moments. There is also one main paradox to all this. The days she goes out she is extremely intimate with me. We have always been a touchy feely couple, but it's like it gets amplified on those days. It's impossible to explain, but easy to enjoy.