I'd be lying if I said part of me didn't want him to contact Rebecca. I really can't explain it. I never want to lose her, but I'm still drawn to the thoughts of her seeing him.
I was reading a post on OHW which might help explain it. The guy who wrote it was a "boyfriend" of a married woman. He had a good grip on the dynamic.
He identified three elements in a marriage; love, lust and romance. He acknowledged that her and her husband had an abundance of love and that his role was simply to help with the other two categories.
Rebecca and I have never been short of any of these in our marriage. Having said that, as I look back in time to when she was seeing G, I recognize that there was an added level of both of Lust and Romance during that time.
Although she may never admit it, I know she enjoyed the dance of getting to know him, going out for drinks and chatting. What she doesn't understand is that I enjoyed that part too. I can't say exactly why. I wasn't trying to pawn my wife off, but knowing she was desirable to other men lit a fire in me.
In terms of Lust, I think she finds it difficult to allow herself to feel it. There's no doubt that she did feel Lust over the course of their relationship, and I think it's the reason she feels bad or embarrassed now. She shouldn't, although I understand that she would feel that way. I was turned on immensely just knowing she can experience Lust like that.
As for the romance, I think it gets difficult to escape the daily grind in order for married people to romance each other. I also don't think it is bad that she was romantic with him. I think women need that. It's not to say she doesn't experience that with me, it's just that it isn't often enough. Her dates had some level of romantic escape, and oddly enough, I benefited from it as well. Women like Rebecca need romance to feel sexy. When she feels sexy, I benefit. (Got that honey? I want you to date again.)
On another note, I have been texting with her today, trying to get her to take off her panties at work. She's wearing a new dress, similar to the one pictured here.
She texted back and asked, "What if I get drippy?". She's at a very wet time of month for her, close to ovulation, so it's likely she would "get drippy".
All the better in my opinion. I like the idea of her at her desk, dripping wet.
Mmm, now I like the idea of her at her desk, dripping wet!
ReplyDeleteI can say for myself, that you (along with the guy from OHW) nailed this. I can also say that I know that hard to explain feeling of wanting the wife to go back and see the very guy that caused so much pain. You recognize that in fact, the pain was only the lack of communication between you and Rebecca. It had nothing to do with G. Now that you've solved that problem (and aside from the issue with Mrs. G), why not?
ReplyDeleteI don't know if this would work in your particular case, but imagine a scenario where you approach G and simply tell the truth. A) you know all about the past situation and you are over it, B) ask him about the situation with his wife (is she aware) and C) let him know that as long as everyone was on the up and up, you would be open to occasional dates/encounters. Crazier things have happened.
Dude, please get a better camera! We want high resolution and HD - you are just teasing us with these icons....
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