Soap

Rebecca had dinner with a good friend of hers last night. She has kept her somewhat up to date on the G issue, although Rebecca has kept a few key pieces of info from "N", including the fact that Rebecca and G slept together.

N has always known about Rebecca and G meeting for lunch and drinks, kind of like I did. According to Rebecca, she doesn't know about the sex, and she doesn't know my role in all this.

Rebecca did tell N last week that G's wife posted a comment to her blog about running around with a married man. Last night at dinner, N told Rebecca that she did a non-indexed search for G's wife and didn't come up with much.

Now I'm pretty certain N isn't very computer savvy, so she would have relied on her husband to help her, who works in the industry. This of course leads me to think the two of them have speculated on what really happened between Rebecca and G.

On another note, I happened to drive by G's office the other day. Before anyone yells "stalker", I was literally a block away, and Rebecca had told me ages ago approximately where his office was.

I was headed back from a meeting, so I decided to google the location. I know, that part was a little stalkerish. Anyway, I drove by without stopping, but did have a quick vision in my head of her on his desk. ( something I read months ago in the emails).

So last night, Rebecca joined me in the hot tub when she got home from dinner, where she told me about N, and the futile internet search of G's wife.

I told her about my drive-by and she went on to talk a little about the sex. She said that the first time they slept together was when he had booked the hotel but that the sex wasn't very good. She went on to say that he invited her to join him the next morning, since he didn't have to check out until 11:00. She said she declined because the "action" wasn't that good and that I was way better.

I asked her right away, "If it wasn't that good, what about his office desk?"

"Oh, that was different" was her answer.

We had some really good action ourselves last night, maybe partially fueled by the discussion.

This all reminds me of the old TV show, "Soap", particularly at the end if each episode when the announcer's voice would come on and recap the whole complicated plot line.

"Will G ever sleep with Rebecca again?"

"Will N and her husband figure out that Rebecca had a fling?"

"Will Rebecca eventually embrace her sexuality and make Slider's head explode?"

"Tune in next week for the answers to these questions and more on...Soap."

The Table

Rebecca and I drove out to my parents today. The kids have been staying out there, about a two hour drive from our place. We're staying the night and heading back tomorrow. The kids will stay with my mom and dad for one more week, a welcome break in our summer holiday.

As per usual, Dad and I spent some time downstairs playing pool. You see, I was raised on a 5x10 snooker table. Dad bought it years before I was born. Every house we lived in was chosen or built on the ability to house "the table". Our game of choice was snooker, although occasionally we slummed it with 8-ball.

The table has stayed in its current location for approximately the last thirty years. Dad was meticulous when he set it up. For a table almost a hundred years old, it has held its own.

Growing up, when I had girl problems or needed time to think, I would go downstairs and shoot. For anyone familiar with snooker, I would practice the familiar 27 pt order of yellow, green, brown, blue, pink then black. Over and over.

I don't play much any more, but when I come home, I pick up without losing a beat. As corny as it sounds, the table is like a part of me now. I win when i feel good and I lose when I don't.

Dad is over seventy now, so I win quite regularly. He insists that I never let him win, and because he never let me win, I oblige him. We always know where we stand when it comes to the game. He moves around the table slowly nowadays, but he surprises me with a sharp shot quite often. If I had to get poetic about it, I would guess it's the table just letting me know now and then where I stand.

Love, Lust and Romance

Nothing further has come from G's wife. We'll keep our fingers crossed. As for G, he's been silent as well, which I can understand.

I'd be lying if I said part of me didn't want him to contact Rebecca. I really can't explain it. I never want to lose her, but I'm still drawn to the thoughts of her seeing him.

I was reading a post on OHW which might help explain it. The guy who wrote it was a "boyfriend" of a married woman. He had a good grip on the dynamic.

He identified three elements in a marriage; love, lust and romance. He acknowledged that her and her husband had an abundance of love and that his role was simply to help with the other two categories.

Rebecca and I have never been short of any of these in our marriage. Having said that, as I look back in time to when she was seeing G, I recognize that there was an added level of both of Lust and Romance during that time.

Although she may never admit it, I know she enjoyed the dance of getting to know him, going out for drinks and chatting. What she doesn't understand is that I enjoyed that part too. I can't say exactly why. I wasn't trying to pawn my wife off, but knowing she was desirable to other men lit a fire in me.

In terms of Lust, I think she finds it difficult to allow herself to feel it. There's no doubt that she did feel Lust over the course of their relationship, and I think it's the reason she feels bad or embarrassed now. She shouldn't, although I understand that she would feel that way. I was turned on immensely just knowing she can experience Lust like that.

As for the romance, I think it gets difficult to escape the daily grind in order for married people to romance each other. I also don't think it is bad that she was romantic with him. I think women need that. It's not to say she doesn't experience that with me, it's just that it isn't often enough. Her dates had some level of romantic escape, and oddly enough, I benefited from it as well. Women like Rebecca need romance to feel sexy. When she feels sexy, I benefit. (Got that honey? I want you to date again.)

On another note, I have been texting with her today, trying to get her to take off her panties at work. She's wearing a new dress, similar to the one pictured here.

She texted back and asked, "What if I get drippy?". She's at a very wet time of month for her, close to ovulation, so it's likely she would "get drippy".

All the better in my opinion. I like the idea of her at her desk, dripping wet.

Mrs. G?

Rebecca writes a family blog where she keeps it updated with things the kids are doing along with other family oriented content. It's been a good record of our kids growing up as well as family things we've done over the years. And no, I'm not providing a link.

Last week, she found a comment which alluded to Rebecca "running around" with a married man. Rebecca deleted it immediately and turned off commenting on her blog. Fortunately, her readership isn't that large, so she was able to delete it before a family member saw it.

She told me about it and we assume that G's wife has finally found out about them. Rebecca assures me that she hasn't seen or communicated with him since that coffee last December.

She's a little unnerved that his wife would make contact with her in such a passive aggressive way. I did my best to assure her that it was just a way for her to lash out at her husband's liaison.

It is strange, though because the blog isn't easy to find, even if you google the right words. It took some effort on her part and Rebecca said she never told G about the blog.

My assumption is that Mrs. G found G's email account and this all came to a head last week, when she decided to look up Rebecca. I'll try not to turn this into a debate about infidelity, but I wouldn't put the fault of this affair totally into Rebecca's court. G is the one who took the step of booking that initial hotel room. It just unfolded from there. Hell, according to him, he and his wife would go for up to six months at a time without sex. Knowing that, I'm surprised it took him so long to make a move on Rebecca.

My perspective on this whole thing is, for lack of a better word, "unique". I have been in Mrs. G's shoes, having been surprised by my spouse's affair. The key difference is the role I played in creating Rebecca's affair. My brief but intense pain was bookended by feelings of lust and intense sexual attraction for my wife.

I have to admit that over the last couple of months, sex has been quite "regular" between us. It's always good, don't get me wrong, but it has been without the edge I experienced over the last year and a half.

This simple contact from G's wife has reminded me of what Rebecca did with him. It reminds me that she can be purely sexual and it pulls me to her even more.

I like the fact that Rebecca told me about this contact from G's wife right away. We have talked on and off about it over the weekend, and I feel closer to my wife than ever. It's her and I getting through this together, and I can tell she's relieved that she's able to confide in me. We'll see what happens next.