Hello World

 Hey… I was cleaning up a few things and thought I would check up on this old blog of mine.

As an update, Rebecca and I are still happily married, although our sex life is pretty slow these days. Maybe moreso due to me not initiating as much. She’s always willing when I do. 

The fantasy is still a big part of my psyche, but I’m sure it will stay that way, even if she continues her affair(s).

Anyway, all is good. I’m wishing the best for all the wannabes out there.

One Pile to Another

This past Friday Rebecca went out for drinks with two of her closest girlfriends. One of them, J, has never married, but has done pretty well career wise. The other, S, married, but Rebecca and I both think she settled in order to start a family. 

Both of these friends have an inkling of Rebecca’s extra-curricular activities. Coincidentally, J is neighbors with the object of Rebecca’s affection from her first affair, G. This is purely coincidence, as G and his wife live on J’s block.

According to R, Friday’s wine conversation centred around the idea of happiness, marriage and affairs. Rebecca’s thesis was that you don’t need to be unhappy in a marriage to have an affair, or to see others, and you certainly don’t need to love the person you have an affair with. Her thought was there are always feelings, but she’s at a point in life where there’s a very limited number of people she loves. 

Her definition of love is based on who she would jump in front of a bus to save. Our kids and yours truly make that cut. Other people, she said she would miss, but she wouldn’t step out past the curb in sacrifice. 

Her friend, S has a similar definition of love, although I’m not sure her husband would make the cut. I’ve known both of these friends for over twenty-five years, and I’m happy to say we’re all fond of each other. Although they’re not privy to my views on Rebecca’s fun. It’s actually comforting to hear that they’re looking out for me. J actually told Rebecca on Friday “don’t screw it up”, referring to our relationship.

Back to S. She’s come close to having an affair or two, but as far as we know she hasn’t fully engaged. She was always the wilder of the three in college , and I get a sense she’s feeling constricted by her marriage and her very vanilla husband.  The difference with them is that he doesn’t know how she feels, and he’s definitely not encouraging her like I have in the past with Rebecca. When J asked S why she doesn’t just leave her husband to go with a new guy, her response was priceless. She said, “Why would I jump from one pile of shit into another pile of shit?” Rebecca and I  laughed when Rebecca told me that line.

Currently with Rebecca, things have gone cold with J ( her last fling). I haven’t encouraged her at all and it had become pretty vanilla around our house too. Over the last few months, Rebecca has been doing another workout program and she’s looking magnificent. I didn’t think she had room for improvement since she always has stayed in shape, but her body is for lack of a better word.. “hard”. 

I enjoy our nights together , even when we’re just hanging out, and we both have a hard time leaving our bed in the mornings, especially on weekends. 

It was interesting to hear how much her attitude on extra marital dating has changed. I think back to the first time I brought it up years ago. I think we’ve both grown up. I get a kick out of her lecturing her traditional friends on the merits of a more open marriage. 

Shades of White

Well, here goes. Last Tuesday night, Rebecca reminded me that she had a wine date with J after work. It worked out well because I had a late work meeting Wednesday, so I could swing by and pick her up afterwards.

Wednesday morning she was wearing what I would describe as her shortest, but still professional dress. She actually let me snap a shot of it in the car as I dropped her off at her office.

Later that day, I finished my meeting and texted her around 6 to let her know I was available when she was ready. She responded to say that a large group of people from her office had joined them, so she might be awhile.

I thought it was a little weird, and I got that old spider sense that there was more to this. It was extremely difficult to concentrate on work, so I decided I would head over to the hotel bar where they were. I guess I figured I would stop by the group and introduce myself. (to J as well).

When I arrived, I parked across the street. I walked over to the bar and strolled in. Looking around, I saw a table at the back with several suits but no sign of Rebecca. 

My texts went unanswered so I was getting that familiar knot in my stomach. My brief search of the restaurants was unsuccessful so I decided to have a seat in the hotel lobby and wait for her text.

I guess I intentionally say near the elevator core. It just made sense. I wasn't there more than ten minutes when the doors opened and she came out. She immediately headed out the door. 

I was a bit in shock, processing it quickly, but  assuming that she had just came down from a hotel room. As I got up to catch up to her, J came out of the next elevator. I was ten feet away from him. 

Still reeling/reacting. I felt I had to say something to him. As we came face to face, I said,

"I think it's best if you two take a break for awhile"

He was confused and asked who I was. I told him I was Rebecca's husband. He quickly backed up three or four steps and said something along the lines of "Yes, okay."  He smelled of booze.

In hindsight I was kicking myself for not just introducing myself and telling him we are going to sit down for a drink. Oh well. Live and learn.

Instead, I headed out the lobby doors after Rebecca. she was a good block ahead of me. I could see her as she texted me. 

"Just finishing my wine. Pick me up at the office?"

That grey little lie didn't sit well at all with me. I quickly texted her back, 

"Find your own way home. I saw you leave the elevator."

I took my time driving home. There was a lot of talking when I got there. She still doesn't know why she feels the need to lie about what happens. 

What is explicitly clear is that she loves me. Her need to lie may stem from her younger days and her relationship with her parents. Who knows.

I was hurt that her first reaction was to throw me off the scent, (so to speak) but she opened up and was able to admit that they "had action". That is our code for sex, and it made it easier to tell me using that term.

They weren't in a hotel room, but rather down in  the underground parking at the hotel. I asked if it was in his vehicle, and she said no, it was a dark corner of the parking lot. 

I can't tell you how hot I found this minor detail. Rebecca is a conservative, professional loving wife. Thinking of her with her dress pulled up, possibly bent over in a parkade with him pumping her is a fucking huge turn-on for me.

When she told me this, I took her by the hand and led her up to our room. We had coarse hard sex on our bed. Knowing he had just been inside her made it so hot for me. While I pumped her, I asked if he was bare in her, but she said he wore a condom. We didn't last long and we both came hard and quick. 

Since then, we have talked a lot. One thing I've noticed and love is how she seems to draw closer to me after these events. It may be some regret or catholic shame, but she makes a point to want me more afterwards. It's a welcome side effect.

Moving on, I have a feeling she'll continue to keep seeing him if he can get past getting rattled by me. The words I used,

"I think it's best if you two take a break for awhile" may raise some questions from him about what I know. Time will tell.


edit: Rebecca and I were texting last night. (She was out of town with the kids) Not a lot of direct discussion of J or the hot wife thing, but she has a way of reassuring me at all times. As we were saying our goodnights, she texted:

"I am happy you are with me on our crazy journey. Lol"

That is what it's about.

The 1%

Well, I have to say, I'm becoming slightly more seasoned at this. For those who don't know our morning schedule, Rebecca goes into work early (for sixish) so she can come home early for when the kids come home from school. I get up with the kids and get them off to school, then typically work later.

One morning last week, I got up as usual, ready to shower when R texted me from her work cell, saying she had left her personal cell at home and that she was going to come get it. Coming back home is no easy feat as she busses to work, so she'd burn up an hour of the day coming to get it. I told  her not to bother, but she insisted, saying she needed it for her workout music. She was planning to go to the gym later that morning.

I found that a bit hard to believe, so like any inquisitive husband, I decided to take a look on her phone. I knew she had used an app to text with J, the guy from work since she told me so several weeks prior. I went to the app and found a text string where they had chatted a couple days before. He was out of town, so he probably had more time than usual.

In the texts, they flirted heavily, including references to trying out several types of beds. They used a few pet names with each other and she commented how she was craving him. Unless you've been in this situation before, it's really hard to describe the feelings I experienced. Most "normal" people would describe their feelings as "betrayed" etc. I admit it was still gut wrenching to read those texts, knowing she has been downplaying their relationship.

At the same time my stomach flip-flopped, my hand casually touched my cock (remember I was getting ready to shower). I don't know what it was, but the the combination of that angst and reading her flirtatious comments made me cum almost spontaneously. I surprised myself and had to rush naked to the toilet as my cock started shooting uncontrollably. I managed to have most of it hit the toilet bowl, so I only had a little to clean up.

When I came to my senses, I immediately took pictures of the screen with my phone and put it back where I found it. The last time this happened (with G) I reacted strongly and negatively. This time I had experience working for me. I wasn't sure how I was going to broach the subject, but I knew I preferred she was the one to tell me.

I managed to keep it to myself for the rest of the week until Friday night where I asked how things were with J. She gave her usual response, same old boring stuff. To give her credit, she does fill me in on when they meet, but she has only told me the boring parts; conversations about work, etc. This I have read is a tactic of someone having an affair. That is, you tell 99% of the info, but omit the 1% that is incriminating.

I have reassured her over the last year and a bit that I am cool with whatever she does as long as she can tell me about it. For the rest of the week I did my best to let her know that it was okay if things had escalated as long as she could tell me about it. Just like before, she was able to hold her cards close. Finally, on Friday night, I gave her the ultimate hint that something was up. I told her to pretend for a moment that I had actually opened her phone that day and read through her texts with him. Even under that pressure she refused to let me in.

At this point, I was pretty confused to the point that if I hadn't saved those pictures of her texts, I'd be questioning my sanity.

There are four lights!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMqY7iPAedU

This of course made me pretty irritable over the next day or so. If I hadn't been through it before with her and G, I'd be extremely worried about if she was planning to leave me. When you lose communication with your wife like this, it makes you question where you sit as a husband.

I tried to rationalize why she wasn't able to tell me about this development and it festered in me. It's easy to say that complete honesty is the goal, and while it is the ultimate destination, it's not a switch you can turn on. The road is a lot more difficult than than you'd think.  

The important point I wanted to make with Rebecca, unlike how I reacted with G several years ago, was that I'm cool with anything they do, and almost everything they say. ( "I love you" would be a difficult one)

Rebecca had once again become dishonest by way of omission. That is, she would always tell me when they met, and most of what they talked about. She would leave out the parts that made her uncomfortable. I think a part of her still had a hard time admitting to me (and maybe to herself) that she was attracted to and had feelings for another guy.

We eventually hashed a lot of things out on Father's Day. I explained to her that the things she said in her texts (calling him hot, saying she craved him, etc) didn't make me mad. She just needs to share it with me. She opened up a bit more and admitted they've kissed/made out in the parkade at work. I think she was surprised when, after she told me, I put her hand on my hard cock.

We've agreed that she'll be more transparent with me. She joked and said that 99% of what they talk about is day to day and mundane. I said "then concentrate on remembering the 1%. "

After we hashed things out, we snuck upstairs and had some great morning sex. It's hard to believe we're coming up on 20 years of being married and I can still want her this badly. She ended up riding me to a great orgasm. I made a point of watching her face as she came, her eyes closed. 

The rest of Father's Day was fun. We spent time as a family, with her and I in a constant state of connection. 

It's been a few days and she's been good about staying true to her word. She's been sending me screenshots of their text conversations. Nothing too crazy yet, but it'll be a good test once there is. 

Aside from that, Rebecca and I are heading to wine country in a week to spend some quality time sans kids. Soon after we get back, she's off on a girls backpack trip. Right after that, she's been invited out to a beer tent festival event with J. That one  has the potential to be a late night.

 

Birthday Stuff and the Hot Savant

It was my birthday this week so the last month or so Rebecca had been bugging me to tell her what I wanted for my birthday. I don't need a lot in terms of gifts or material items. Aside from the full-on hotwife fantasy, a threesome and various things I know she wouldn't want to give me, there was one thing I had the courage to bring up.

Back in the days of G, one of the most intense and erotic times I've experienced were those nights when she went out for drinks and stayed out late. The feeling is impossible to describe to those who haven't experienced it, but I was on fire when she was out with him.

My birthday wish was to try to experience that again, so I suggested to her that my birthday present could be for her to go out on a "late date". She and her current friend "J" meet regularly during the week for tea, and sometimes wine, but it's always in the mornings or afternoons, and it's always in a "safe" environment. By safe, I mean in  a public setting, often with other coworkers around.

When I told Rebecca what I'd like for my birthday, she didn't react negatively. She simply said she may have to go out alone, alluding to the fact that J can't do an evening day since he's married.

Fast forward to yesterday, when R reminded me that she has a sugaring appointment today. For those of you not familiar with it, it's similar to waxing, but they use sugar instead. Rebecca prefers it because it's less painful. I'm not fussy either way, I just like the result.

The other thing she mentioned is she has a massage appointment this evening as well. She goes to a legit therapeutic massage clinic near our house. She also sees the same masseur each time. She likes his hand strength. She can take a lot pressure on her muscles and prefers strong male hands.  Now I've forgotten the name of her masseur, but there was a point this winter when she hadn't been to see him for a long period of time, so he actually emailed her to see how she was doing. She mentioned that she thought that was strange, but I told her she's probably a highlight of his clientele.

To sum it up, I asked her to go out on a late date as my birthday present. That didn't materialize, but instead she happened to put together an appointment to having her pussy "sugared" and soon afterward will be laying (hopefully nude) on a massage table getting massaged by a guy who may or may not have a crush on her.

I honestly don't know if she does this on purpose or if she's just some sort of savant when it comes to accidentally pushing my buttons.

Everything Old is New Again

I haven't felt the need to write much about R and I lately. We've been in a pretty standard holding pattern. I mean, she has a new "friend", but that it's following the same boring pattern of how it was with G at first. Many coffee dates becoming a developing friendship, which it, at some point I assume will become sexual. 

The trick here will be how she manages this transition. She is still in denial about it moving forward with this new guy (see "Post to OHW") below. The situation has so many parallels. He's a successful exec, married, albeit somewhat unhappily. He's keeps his meetings with Rebecca to himself, and is quite cautious about where they meet. That fact alone tells me he is after more, but I'm not sure what it is.

When I've come up in their conversations, Rebecca has told him that I'm aware that they meet regularly. I'm not sure if this has thrown him off his game, but he hasn't made the crucial move like G did years ago when he invited her to his hotel room. Rebecca thinks he is inexperienced in these things. The fact that I'm aware may have confused him a little.

Saying that make it sound like she's already down that path in her mind, but what I get from her is quite the opposite. Like G, she seems content to keep meeting for coffee and sometimes wine. She understands the context of it all and she certainly knows where I stand on it. 

At this point, I'm like a marathon runner who can't quite recall the last few miles; not quite tired of the race, but hoping for something interesting around the next bend. R will come home and tell me about their get-togethers and everything (I mean every mundane thing) they discuss. This consists of travel, family, work and a lot of very mundane things. They meet during the workday, so I'm sure that this contributes to the lack of sexual innuendo.

It's Friday today and R is trying something new. She typically has her pussy waxed once a month or so. There was a stretch of a couple years where she was only doing general maintenance. I like to think she's doing this to be ready should the time come when this guy makes a move. This month she's trying a "sugaring" which is supposed to be slightly less painful than waxing, but with all the benefits. We'll see.

I'm including a few new pics of R. It's been awhile since I posted any. Rebecca has kept in great shape for.. well honestly for any woman. I won't say "for a forty-five year-old" because really, she has a body of someone in her 20's. Hell, I would say that even grouped with 100 women twenty years younger, she'd still be in the top 20th percentile. I'm extremely lucky in this respect, and it would make any sane man wonder why I would want to share her. I can't answer that. Maybe it's my way of bragging how good I have it. 

Alive and Well

I'm back. I thought I'd fire this blog back up and post a few thoughts on where Rebecca and I are now. Life settled down since the whole G incident and we've grown as a couple. It's been some time, years I guess you could say. My hotwife thoughts never really disappeared, but I did my best to keep R insulated from them so she wouldn't feel any pressure from me on that front.

Over the last year and a half or so, we've started evolving back in that direction again, but I'm trying not to push. She's still "seeing" the guy from her company for coffee, but nothing major has happened. She goes out of her way to tell me the details of their conversations, but a lot of it is the minutia of everyday life, etc.

I can tell that R goes through phases with him. They have developed a friendship much like the way her and G did, which I'm comfortable with. Things are complicated in the sense that he's married, somewhat unhappily,(like G) so there's not a lot of opportunity for them to see each other.

Rebecca seems to have learned how to use this to add a level of excitement to our sex life. The other day she mentioned she was meeting him for coffee in the morning. That night as soon as we were in bed, she rolled over onto me and pressed against me. I quickly got the hint and pulled off her top and bottoms.

I knew what the driver was for her making the first move, so as she ground against me, I asked her what she was going to wear to her coffee date. She still tends to avoid taking the lead vocally, so she responded by asking me what she should wear. I'll take a minute to say that she has a great wardrobe of professional work dressed, skirts and suits, all of which fit her tight figure amazingly.

I answered by saying she should wear something tight to show off her great ass. Then I asked her what underwear she will wear. Instead of turning it around on me this time, she answered, "my crotchless ones". She's learning how to push the buttons. She does have a pair of crotchless panties, and I knew she had no intentions to wear then to work, but in the moment, it was very hot to hear my wife say she was going to wear them to a meeting with another man.

She rode me for awhile as we had our "discussion" but I needed to change things up to delay my inevitable orgasm. I rolled her off gently and she immediately got on her hands and knees, offering herself to me like that. I slowly rolled her onto her back, saying that there was no way I would last if I took her from behind like that. 

I don't recall a lot of detail after that, other than we finished with her riding me again with my hands on her hips. She had her eyes closed when she came, which (of course) in my mind had me turned on thinking she was imagining him inside her. 

She leaves early in the mornings for work, but she always kisses me good-bye. Often I'm barely awake, but this time I made sure to pry my eyes open to see what she chose to wear. I wasn't disappointed. She had a great fitting work skirt and top. I didn't know which underwear she chose, but I heard the distinct snap of the elastic band of her stayup leg nylons. 

As a bit of an epilogue, she didn't wear the crotchless panties, and the coffee date was pretty uneventful, which is to be expected for a 6:30 am meeting, but it was very nice to cross into that part of our sex life again. I'm fortunate that way.

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