The 1%

Well, I have to say, I'm becoming slightly more seasoned at this. For those who don't know our morning schedule, Rebecca goes into work early (for sixish) so she can come home early for when the kids come home from school. I get up with the kids and get them off to school, then typically work later.

One morning last week, I got up as usual, ready to shower when R texted me from her work cell, saying she had left her personal cell at home and that she was going to come get it. Coming back home is no easy feat as she busses to work, so she'd burn up an hour of the day coming to get it. I told  her not to bother, but she insisted, saying she needed it for her workout music. She was planning to go to the gym later that morning.

I found that a bit hard to believe, so like any inquisitive husband, I decided to take a look on her phone. I knew she had used an app to text with J, the guy from work since she told me so several weeks prior. I went to the app and found a text string where they had chatted a couple days before. He was out of town, so he probably had more time than usual.

In the texts, they flirted heavily, including references to trying out several types of beds. They used a few pet names with each other and she commented how she was craving him. Unless you've been in this situation before, it's really hard to describe the feelings I experienced. Most "normal" people would describe their feelings as "betrayed" etc. I admit it was still gut wrenching to read those texts, knowing she has been downplaying their relationship.

At the same time my stomach flip-flopped, my hand casually touched my cock (remember I was getting ready to shower). I don't know what it was, but the the combination of that angst and reading her flirtatious comments made me cum almost spontaneously. I surprised myself and had to rush naked to the toilet as my cock started shooting uncontrollably. I managed to have most of it hit the toilet bowl, so I only had a little to clean up.

When I came to my senses, I immediately took pictures of the screen with my phone and put it back where I found it. The last time this happened (with G) I reacted strongly and negatively. This time I had experience working for me. I wasn't sure how I was going to broach the subject, but I knew I preferred she was the one to tell me.

I managed to keep it to myself for the rest of the week until Friday night where I asked how things were with J. She gave her usual response, same old boring stuff. To give her credit, she does fill me in on when they meet, but she has only told me the boring parts; conversations about work, etc. This I have read is a tactic of someone having an affair. That is, you tell 99% of the info, but omit the 1% that is incriminating.

I have reassured her over the last year and a bit that I am cool with whatever she does as long as she can tell me about it. For the rest of the week I did my best to let her know that it was okay if things had escalated as long as she could tell me about it. Just like before, she was able to hold her cards close. Finally, on Friday night, I gave her the ultimate hint that something was up. I told her to pretend for a moment that I had actually opened her phone that day and read through her texts with him. Even under that pressure she refused to let me in.

At this point, I was pretty confused to the point that if I hadn't saved those pictures of her texts, I'd be questioning my sanity.

There are four lights!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMqY7iPAedU

This of course made me pretty irritable over the next day or so. If I hadn't been through it before with her and G, I'd be extremely worried about if she was planning to leave me. When you lose communication with your wife like this, it makes you question where you sit as a husband.

I tried to rationalize why she wasn't able to tell me about this development and it festered in me. It's easy to say that complete honesty is the goal, and while it is the ultimate destination, it's not a switch you can turn on. The road is a lot more difficult than than you'd think.  

The important point I wanted to make with Rebecca, unlike how I reacted with G several years ago, was that I'm cool with anything they do, and almost everything they say. ( "I love you" would be a difficult one)

Rebecca had once again become dishonest by way of omission. That is, she would always tell me when they met, and most of what they talked about. She would leave out the parts that made her uncomfortable. I think a part of her still had a hard time admitting to me (and maybe to herself) that she was attracted to and had feelings for another guy.

We eventually hashed a lot of things out on Father's Day. I explained to her that the things she said in her texts (calling him hot, saying she craved him, etc) didn't make me mad. She just needs to share it with me. She opened up a bit more and admitted they've kissed/made out in the parkade at work. I think she was surprised when, after she told me, I put her hand on my hard cock.

We've agreed that she'll be more transparent with me. She joked and said that 99% of what they talk about is day to day and mundane. I said "then concentrate on remembering the 1%. "

After we hashed things out, we snuck upstairs and had some great morning sex. It's hard to believe we're coming up on 20 years of being married and I can still want her this badly. She ended up riding me to a great orgasm. I made a point of watching her face as she came, her eyes closed. 

The rest of Father's Day was fun. We spent time as a family, with her and I in a constant state of connection. 

It's been a few days and she's been good about staying true to her word. She's been sending me screenshots of their text conversations. Nothing too crazy yet, but it'll be a good test once there is. 

Aside from that, Rebecca and I are heading to wine country in a week to spend some quality time sans kids. Soon after we get back, she's off on a girls backpack trip. Right after that, she's been invited out to a beer tent festival event with J. That one  has the potential to be a late night.

 

Birthday Stuff and the Hot Savant

It was my birthday this week so the last month or so Rebecca had been bugging me to tell her what I wanted for my birthday. I don't need a lot in terms of gifts or material items. Aside from the full-on hotwife fantasy, a threesome and various things I know she wouldn't want to give me, there was one thing I had the courage to bring up.

Back in the days of G, one of the most intense and erotic times I've experienced were those nights when she went out for drinks and stayed out late. The feeling is impossible to describe to those who haven't experienced it, but I was on fire when she was out with him.

My birthday wish was to try to experience that again, so I suggested to her that my birthday present could be for her to go out on a "late date". She and her current friend "J" meet regularly during the week for tea, and sometimes wine, but it's always in the mornings or afternoons, and it's always in a "safe" environment. By safe, I mean in  a public setting, often with other coworkers around.

When I told Rebecca what I'd like for my birthday, she didn't react negatively. She simply said she may have to go out alone, alluding to the fact that J can't do an evening day since he's married.

Fast forward to yesterday, when R reminded me that she has a sugaring appointment today. For those of you not familiar with it, it's similar to waxing, but they use sugar instead. Rebecca prefers it because it's less painful. I'm not fussy either way, I just like the result.

The other thing she mentioned is she has a massage appointment this evening as well. She goes to a legit therapeutic massage clinic near our house. She also sees the same masseur each time. She likes his hand strength. She can take a lot pressure on her muscles and prefers strong male hands.  Now I've forgotten the name of her masseur, but there was a point this winter when she hadn't been to see him for a long period of time, so he actually emailed her to see how she was doing. She mentioned that she thought that was strange, but I told her she's probably a highlight of his clientele.

To sum it up, I asked her to go out on a late date as my birthday present. That didn't materialize, but instead she happened to put together an appointment to having her pussy "sugared" and soon afterward will be laying (hopefully nude) on a massage table getting massaged by a guy who may or may not have a crush on her.

I honestly don't know if she does this on purpose or if she's just some sort of savant when it comes to accidentally pushing my buttons.

Everything Old is New Again

I haven't felt the need to write much about R and I lately. We've been in a pretty standard holding pattern. I mean, she has a new "friend", but that it's following the same boring pattern of how it was with G at first. Many coffee dates becoming a developing friendship, which it, at some point I assume will become sexual. 

The trick here will be how she manages this transition. She is still in denial about it moving forward with this new guy (see "Post to OHW") below. The situation has so many parallels. He's a successful exec, married, albeit somewhat unhappily. He's keeps his meetings with Rebecca to himself, and is quite cautious about where they meet. That fact alone tells me he is after more, but I'm not sure what it is.

When I've come up in their conversations, Rebecca has told him that I'm aware that they meet regularly. I'm not sure if this has thrown him off his game, but he hasn't made the crucial move like G did years ago when he invited her to his hotel room. Rebecca thinks he is inexperienced in these things. The fact that I'm aware may have confused him a little.

Saying that make it sound like she's already down that path in her mind, but what I get from her is quite the opposite. Like G, she seems content to keep meeting for coffee and sometimes wine. She understands the context of it all and she certainly knows where I stand on it. 

At this point, I'm like a marathon runner who can't quite recall the last few miles; not quite tired of the race, but hoping for something interesting around the next bend. R will come home and tell me about their get-togethers and everything (I mean every mundane thing) they discuss. This consists of travel, family, work and a lot of very mundane things. They meet during the workday, so I'm sure that this contributes to the lack of sexual innuendo.

It's Friday today and R is trying something new. She typically has her pussy waxed once a month or so. There was a stretch of a couple years where she was only doing general maintenance. I like to think she's doing this to be ready should the time come when this guy makes a move. This month she's trying a "sugaring" which is supposed to be slightly less painful than waxing, but with all the benefits. We'll see.

I'm including a few new pics of R. It's been awhile since I posted any. Rebecca has kept in great shape for.. well honestly for any woman. I won't say "for a forty-five year-old" because really, she has a body of someone in her 20's. Hell, I would say that even grouped with 100 women twenty years younger, she'd still be in the top 20th percentile. I'm extremely lucky in this respect, and it would make any sane man wonder why I would want to share her. I can't answer that. Maybe it's my way of bragging how good I have it. 

Alive and Well

I'm back. I thought I'd fire this blog back up and post a few thoughts on where Rebecca and I are now. Life settled down since the whole G incident and we've grown as a couple. It's been some time, years I guess you could say. My hotwife thoughts never really disappeared, but I did my best to keep R insulated from them so she wouldn't feel any pressure from me on that front.

Over the last year and a half or so, we've started evolving back in that direction again, but I'm trying not to push. She's still "seeing" the guy from her company for coffee, but nothing major has happened. She goes out of her way to tell me the details of their conversations, but a lot of it is the minutia of everyday life, etc.

I can tell that R goes through phases with him. They have developed a friendship much like the way her and G did, which I'm comfortable with. Things are complicated in the sense that he's married, somewhat unhappily,(like G) so there's not a lot of opportunity for them to see each other.

Rebecca seems to have learned how to use this to add a level of excitement to our sex life. The other day she mentioned she was meeting him for coffee in the morning. That night as soon as we were in bed, she rolled over onto me and pressed against me. I quickly got the hint and pulled off her top and bottoms.

I knew what the driver was for her making the first move, so as she ground against me, I asked her what she was going to wear to her coffee date. She still tends to avoid taking the lead vocally, so she responded by asking me what she should wear. I'll take a minute to say that she has a great wardrobe of professional work dressed, skirts and suits, all of which fit her tight figure amazingly.

I answered by saying she should wear something tight to show off her great ass. Then I asked her what underwear she will wear. Instead of turning it around on me this time, she answered, "my crotchless ones". She's learning how to push the buttons. She does have a pair of crotchless panties, and I knew she had no intentions to wear then to work, but in the moment, it was very hot to hear my wife say she was going to wear them to a meeting with another man.

She rode me for awhile as we had our "discussion" but I needed to change things up to delay my inevitable orgasm. I rolled her off gently and she immediately got on her hands and knees, offering herself to me like that. I slowly rolled her onto her back, saying that there was no way I would last if I took her from behind like that. 

I don't recall a lot of detail after that, other than we finished with her riding me again with my hands on her hips. She had her eyes closed when she came, which (of course) in my mind had me turned on thinking she was imagining him inside her. 

She leaves early in the mornings for work, but she always kisses me good-bye. Often I'm barely awake, but this time I made sure to pry my eyes open to see what she chose to wear. I wasn't disappointed. She had a great fitting work skirt and top. I didn't know which underwear she chose, but I heard the distinct snap of the elastic band of her stayup leg nylons. 

As a bit of an epilogue, she didn't wear the crotchless panties, and the coffee date was pretty uneventful, which is to be expected for a 6:30 am meeting, but it was very nice to cross into that part of our sex life again. I'm fortunate that way.

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Another OHW post

As I had mentioned before, Rebecca came home after her last wine date and said she didn't enjoy spending time away from me, insinuating that she didn't want to keep seeing him.

As much as I find the whole HW thing a huge turn on, I'm very cool with it not leading anywhere. I think the last time around (a few years ago) I pushed the situation and then didn't react well when she finally started to show signs of wanting it.

The roller-coaster of emotions, (lust, jealousy, angst, and love) is what keeps drawing me back. I have a theory that the more unlikely your wife is to do this, the more intense the feelings are when she starts to make moves in the hw direction. I don't mean this as derogatory to anyone, but if Rebecca had been a slut all her life, it wouldn't have come as such a shock. Instead, she's a very level headed, outwardly conservative woman. When she does certain little things, they have a leveraged effect on me.

Anyway, back to where we are now. When she said she wasn't that interested in pursuing things with him anymore, I told her I'm very cool with that (I am). Fast forward to this previous Tuesday and she told me after work that she was invited (and went) for coffee with him. Again, nothing major, but she did tell me that he told her she looked hot (she does).

Last night I had a work function where I had a few drinks. while Rebecca stayed home and ran the kids around to their activities. I grabbed a cab and was home shortly after 9, then we stayed up for a bit and watched "Suits". When we went to bed, we started making out facing each other on our sides.

It's 50-50 as to who gets on top of whom, but last night she climbed up on top of me. As she guided me in, she asked me to tell her something. This is something she often says to me. In the old days (five years ago),when I first mentioned the hw thoughts, she would shut down and change the subject. Now, we talk more openly, but never anything too explicit. 

Last night though, when she asked me to tell her something, I asked her, "What do you want to know?"

As she rocked, she said something along the lines of "Your deepest desire". I was buzzing still from my apres-work event, so I can't recall verbatim.

I do remember deciding to seize the opportunity, so I just went ahead and said it without sugar coating it.

"I want to you fuck other men then come home and ride me like this."

There are times when you know your wife is finally being greedy about her own orgasm. She closed her eyes, sat up straight and rode me. I can't remember what she said next exactly, but her eyes were closed, and it prompted me to say more.

"I want to have your pussy while you tell me how well he fucked you, how his cock felt inside you."

That one pushed me over the edge despite my whiskey buffer and I came inside her. At times like this, I don't get soft, so she kept going, her eyes closed, hands on my chest. She was on a mission. She came hard a couple of minutes later and collapsed on me. 

I'll wrap this up soon, but there is one other relevant thing. During our last go-round with her dating her previous lover, she was regularly having her pussy waxed (professionally). I really enjoyed how smooth she got, and I'm sure he enjoyed it too. 

In the mornings, she typically is at work by 6, and I get the kids off to school then head in to the office. (and stay later) We often text as I'm getting the kids ready. This morning she texted me:

Her: "Should I get a wax as a gift for you from me?"

Me: "Yes!"

Her (immediately): There's a 3pm available on Saturday.

Me: "Done!"

Her: "Pain Sweat here I come"
(She says the pain makes her sweat).

Her: "Booked"

I was getting ready to shower as she was texting me and I have to admit, just the little thing of her booking a wax got me aroused. Crazy.

Anyway, that's all I've got... have a great Christmas everyone.

- Slider

Posted to OHW

Well, not much to report. She was out of communication, (phone in coat, coat was checked.)She came home and filled me in on their conversation from the evening. She said she realized partway into it that she doesn't really enjoy being away from me like this. 

I think he read into her lack of flirting, because the conversation stuck to topics of family and work. 

Honestly, this time didn't do much for me in terms of excitement either. Maybe it's because it's a path we've already taken once. I went to bed early and she got home not much later.

Anyway, we'll chill over the holiday and see where things go in the new year. I'm pretty sure the notion of her dating on her own has run its course. 

In a way, it's kind of nice to be able to punctuate the end of something like that. I know we'll still find ways to stay "entertained" as a couple.

Merry Xmas all

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Post to OHW

It has been a long time since I posted anything here. Some you followed our story though a blog I used to keep a couple years ago. For most of you, it won't be familiar, so I'll explain how we got to where we are now.

About six years ago I started having fleeting thoughts of my wife with other men. I cant' say exactly how it began, but it grew until I felt I needed to tell her. She's a very conservative, somewhat catholic woman so it's safe to say she didn't react as well as I had hoped.

I still remember the short conversation in our bedroom bathroom where she said she isn't like that at all, and that she has always needed to feel a connection in order to be physical.

Like many others on here, we started talking more in the bedroom, with me pushing the boundaries of our discussions. She always reacted well in bed. I mean, she was never overly vocal, but when I hit the right topic at the right time, it's like her body would betray her. You could almost call her orgasms "premature" when compared to her usual timing.

Eventually, I let her in on my blog. Some time later, she began to read it. I guess it took her awhile to face the fantasy. On one occasion, I even gave her a trip to Vegas as birthday present. While nothing major happened, she definitely pushed her own boundaries by flirting and chatting with the men that her and her girlfriend met on the trip. At one point, in the Bellagio lounge, she was even offered close to a $1k to show a couple of men (including a southern judge) her recently waxed pussy. (Something she had started to do for my enjoyment).

One day several months after the trip, we were in the kitchen (funny how your mind remembers these things) and I mentioned how great her ass looked. Not even ten seconds later, she mentioned a guy at work in some unrelated context. I'm not sure it qualified as a poker "tell", but I was pretty sure the comment sparked a thought for her.

The guy eventually left her company, but they stayed in touch, meeting for coffee. She would text me that she was "asked to coffee", and I would encourage her to go. Coffee dates eventually turned to drink dates. It evolved into Rebecca going to meet him for drinks in the evening, occasionally stretching late into the night. 

I know.. looking back, I was pretty blind. I loved that she was out with him and hoped that she would let it progress. Each time she came home, we would have amazing sex, but she would "disappoint" me by saying that they just chatted, often about his sexless marriage. 

Even at the time, I found it unbelievable that he hadn't made any move on her. I thought maybe he might be gay, or perhaps he let their relationship drift into the dreaded "friend-zone". 

Eventually, I'm embarrassed to say, my paranoia got the best of me and I key-logged our home computer. That lasted several months with nothing of any consequence so I guiltily decided to remove it. 

Of course I did one last check and lo and behold an email account showed up; one I never knew she kept. I logged into it and found what was a veritable history of their relationship, including correspondence indicating they had been sleeping together for close to a year and half.

This was heartbreaking and gut-wrenching to say the least. Anyone who has been through it can relate. Oddly enough (but maybe not in present company) it wasn't the sex that bothered me, it was the idea that she hid it from me. I mean, the times that she would tell me about a planned date, I felt like it was our little secret, like it was her and I against the world. Corny sounding I suppose. When I found out that there was this other level that I wasn't part of, well, it made me physically ill.

When I confronted her, I can honestly say it seemed to hurt her more. There was no doubt that she loved me and that, coupled with her Catholic guilt made her cry harder and longer than me.

We put everything on pause to save our marriage. She broke it off with him and recommitted herself to me. It was kind of an unspoken agreement that I drop the whole hotwife thing, so I did. I wrapped up the blog and took it offline. Occasionally, I'd mention him and I could see the guilt take her over.

All that was almost three years ago this past November. We've reached a point where she knows I still love the idea of her embracing her sexuality with other men, but we don't really discuss it in detail. Don't get me wrong, sex is amazing with her. It's just hard to reach that same level once you've had a high that high. At times, I would still fantasize and think about her meeting up with him. Crazy, I know. Fortunately, she's been a rock. I'm not sure how I would have handled things if she had strayed back to him.

This past Tuesday, I was walking from the car to my office, when she sent me a text. 

"I've been invited for wine - thursday".

I can't explain why, and it's embarrassing, but I felt that goddamn familiar twinge. And I loved it. I'm happy to say, it's not her ex bf, but another guy in her company possessing many of the traits she likes. It has started along a familiar path and has stirred up many feeling, mainly sexual and all good. 

We had sex that night and it had that extra boost I hadn't felt for awhile. She was amazing. I have always loved my wife, but I just want her more. Again, difficult to explain if you haven't experienced it.

She met him yesterday after work. I made sure to clear her path in terms of taking care of the kids, getting them to their appointments etc. so she would have the time. I had a meeting that went later in the evening and found it difficult to concentrate. (I've been there before.) 

She didn't answer my texts right away, and I made a conscious effort to not barrage her. At one point my mind started going onto tangents of her getting kidnapped or worse, and I had to tell myself to get a grip.

When I got home, she was watching "Modern Family" with a kid under each arm. She's an amazing woman. We eventually were able to talk, and while there wasn't anything huge that happened, it was pretty clear that this was a date. They shared relatively pricey bottle of wine that he paid for and talked a lot. I think she's getting better now at picking up on the sexual innuendo in her conversations. 

We had very passionate sex last night. Even better than the sex, is the fact that we're back to acting like we have our own little secret. She was telling me more about their conversation this morning, again nothing too sexual, but I can tell she's starting to like him, and that seems to turn a switch on in me.

As I was leaving to come to the office, she said she doesn't know why he has taken an interest in her. We used to always joke about the "Vegas vibe". I told her she still has it. She's an outgoing, intelligent, sexy,and extremely fit, forty-something woman. It's a no brainer.

Finally, I know that some of you reading this will question her sincerity and honesty as far as this new relationship goes. All I can say is there is way more to us than what I have typed here. I can't begin to capture (in this short account) the strength and depth of our relationship over the 18 years we've been married.

I'm going into this next phase of things with my head up, and with more patience than before. It was easy back then to let my jealousy overtake my excitement, something I think contributed al lot to Rebecca keeping things hidden from me. Older and wiser as they say.

Anyway, I've rambled on. Since I don't keep the blog anymore, I thought I'd post some of this here. OHW has been a good resource and the people on here helped me through the "dark days" a long time ago.